Misconceptions of the Childless Couple – When Risk Doesn’t Equal Reward

The following post is from my opinion column “Tammy’s Take” in the Interlake Spectator. Some content has been added and edited.

Six years later, there’s a part two. And, no, I’m not pregnant.

People find innovative ways to reveal their baby bump.

Teasers on Instagram. “Accidentally” on talk shows. After an energetic performance at the MTV Awards.

True be told, childless couples will like your statuses and comment on your feeds. They give that baby bump a heart. And may take a screenshot because it’s unique – and you never know. Maybe one day …

But when your baby is born, you may resent the childless couple. After all, they’re not lacking sleep due to late night feedings and colic. In fact, you imagine the childless couple travelling to quaint antique stores on weekends. Going on last minute road trips without car seats bouncing in the backseat. Staying at a seaside bed and breakfast with a late morning wake up call.

These are misconceptions about a childless couple. Yes, some childless couples simply wanted to remain childless. But some didn’t choose that path. They wanted a splashy baby announcement. They wanted a baby bump. They wanted a photo of a uterus on their desk.

They wanted a baby. Or two. After watching the Family Stone, maybe five.

Maybe the childless couple chose names before they married. Maybe they planned and plotted, however, they never attempted to conceive because – medically – the risks outweighed the reward. An adorable, tiny, reward with around ten figures and ten toes – because the childless couple isn’t fussy about details.

Maybe the childless couple wanted children to burst into their bedroom early on Sunday morning. And they’d read the newspaper as a family. The kids – of course – would fight over the Funnies, then they’d call a truce and share them. The childless couple would be woken up on Christmas morning with, “Santa was here! Santa was here!” They’d make their children’s first initials out of pancake batter, like Gigi made for his grandchildren.

Maybe the childless couple doesn’t care about the late night feedings, colic, vomit, 4 a.m. diaper changes, because they’d be holding two halves of a whole.

A childless couple doesn’t want to hear, “You can adopt,” or “Concentrate on school-career-other thing to sidetrack you,” or “Don’t you think you’re too old?”

Most of all, a childless couple doesn’t want to hear, “Don’t you think it’s too late?” The childless couple is logical. They know when the door is closing.

But in their hearts?

They just can’t let go.
Originally published in the Interlake Spectator and the Selkirk Journal, April 2, 2015
Part of Interlake Publishing under Postmedia.