Separation, Divorce, and A Late Night Message – Why, why, why

I was in an awesome mood.

A little over a week ago, I went to the Skate Canada Manitoba AGM.

Honestly, I was super thrilled about staying in a hotel room. By myself. Solo. As I drove into the parking lot of the hotel, I felt like Hermey from Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. Independent.

My soon-to-be former husband and I met for dinner and caught up. I brought him up to see my view, which included a “Go Jets Go” sign. Five minutes later, he left – rather emotional.

But I continued with my happiness vibe. Unpacking my five bags. Playing Spotify. Eating rice cakes. Just, overall happy.

I posted a selfie of myself in the bathroom. Just to capture the moment.

With a 6 a.m. morning looming, I prepared to dive onto my King-sized bed. That’s when I noticed my Smartphone blinking.

A message. Most likely out of concern, but it sort of dampened my happiness vibe.

“Hey … what happened with your marriage?”

I know they were curious. The messenger and I had been friends for decades. They were at our wedding. However, it hadn’t been a banner week on the separation-front, but they had no idea.

Days prior, I called the CRA to change my marital status. When the agent asked if there was anything else she could do, I started crying. Plus, I was staying at the same hotel where my wedding reception was held. I was trying to block those details out.

What happened? The actual non-sugar coated version? Even my closest friend has no idea.

Divorce is messy, and it’s painful. You’re ending something you never thought would end.

I understand, the messenger wanted to understand why we, two people who appeared head over heels in love, fell apart. I danced around the question like a jazz dancer on fire. Diplomatic. Dodgy. Avoiding.

Truth is, I may never be ready to talk about the “why.”

But why is the “why” important? What about the good stuff? The “season nine.” The icing inside the Oreo cookie. A divorce doesn’t mean your marriage was crap-tacular.

We focus too much on endings. The curtain drops, the audience leaves, and the actors go to an after party.

Yes, that scenario will play out this fall. Except, instead of an after party, my former husband and I are going to Cocoa Beans.

They have gluten-free onion rings.

Just in case you’re wondering why.


2 thoughts on “Separation, Divorce, and A Late Night Message – Why, why, why

  1. I got to give you and Murray a big bouquet for the way you both are and the friend ship you share in good and bad times.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. For some, I know it’s difficult to maintain a friendship. However, I didn’t want our marriage to end on a negative note.


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