Brownies with Gluten – I Can’t Eat Them, But You Can

I miss brownies.

I mean real brownies. Not the ones that are modified to suit a gluten free diet. Thanks to my DNA – I inherited Celiac disease.

I don’t eat brownies often, because I can’t find a good recipe – and chocolate makes my face breakout. Thanks, rosacea. Geez, I can’t catch a break.

I started to bake brownies when I was about 12 years old. I remember my Uncle G would come over, and he’d sit at the kitchen table and say, “So, how are those brownies coming along?” and I’d whip up a batch.

And the batter? The raw batter? I’d save a quarter of a cup just to eat. Those were the days when you could eat raw brownie batter and not die. I’d snuggle with the green plastic brownie bowl, savouring the goo.

Everyone loved those brownies. In fact, I entered them into the Arborg Fair. Stop laughing. I was in grade six, and there was prize money at stake. I won third place for my brownies? What?

Judging. So political.

These brownies are not gooey. They’re more of a cakey texture, so it depends on your taste. If you add coconut – which I omit – use a quarter cup. Too much, and it dries out the brownies and you’ll be left with a hockey puck. I added half a cup of chocolate chips to them once? Highly recommended. I shall live vicariously through you:

Tammy’s Third-Place Brownies

A smidge less than a cup of butter. Otherwise the brownies are greasy. Do not use less than 3/4 cup of butter. They’ll be too dry. Do not use margarine. No one should be eating margarine.
2 cups of brown sugar
2 eggs (Best method – break onto a plate, then add. This way, you can catch broken yolks and icky spots. Eww)
6 tablespoons cocoa
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon salt
2 1/2 cups flour

My method: Set the oven to 350°c. Melt the butter. Enjoy that pre-lobster smell. Add in the brown sugar. One of my friends from high school used to eat this. Add the eggs. Don’t eat this. Add the baking powder and vanilla. I used to let it bubble. For no reason but to kill time because I was bored. Add salt. Add flour in 1/2 cup increments and beat super fast. Or add it all at once. Your choice. Pour into a butter or oil greased or parchment paper-lined 9″ x 13″ pan. Do not use spray anti-stick products. They’re icky. Open oven door. Place pan in the oven. Close oven door. Wait for 25 minutes. Open the oven door. Take out pan. Close the oven door. Wait! Make sure you’re wearing oven mitts! Use a toothpick to ensure the brownies are finished. It should come out clean. Let cool for 15 minutes. Enjoy!

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