I don’t like unresolved issues.
I like the chapter closed. The fence mended.
Not for my piece of mind, but so the other person knows I didn’t mean to hurt them. Maybe I was mad. Bitter. Stressed. Tired. Slightly altered. Low blood sugar.
All inexcusable, and no excuse for being cruel.
Sorry might be just a word to some. But at times, there isn’t another that seems appropriate. And it should be given with a genuine explanation.
Tonight, my husband ran into Graham, one of the Jehovah’s Witnesses who I invited into our house a few weeks ago. The one who judged me for my “lack of standards.” Graham said he heard through the grapevine that after his final visit, he’d upset me. My husband told Graham that he wasn’t comfortable talking about the situation in public.
When my husband told me, I jokingly said, “If they want to know why, they can visit www dot the centre…”
But it still hurts. Because as he and another JWs and I sat at my kitchen table, I know I wasn’t heard, nor were my views respected. I wanted straight answers. I challenged them on same-sex marriage, homosexuality, their disfellowshipping practices, and I questioned why the numbers for the anointed – 144,000 – hadn’t changed since the 1930s.
In returned I received a sermon and biblical quotes.
This person said they wanted to apologize. And I’m open to it.
Because I’d like to know if when they visited me were they mad, bitter, stressed, tired or slightly altered. Or had their blood sugar dropped.
Or if they were simply judging me.
Because I think I just answered my own apology.